Learn English with Brian Regan - Lottery Tickets(Stand-Up Comedy)
Transcript
And I’m trying to learn how to be a better listener. So I just decided to just say nothing. And there was a guy there telling everyone a story about the lottery numbers that he had recently picked. Whoo! What a story.
[audience laughing]
I’m going to try to duplicate it for you, but it’s going to be challenging, because this guy was drilling it. He had everyone gathered around and he was like, “So I got, uh, four lottery tickets.” “The, uh, first ticket, I picked a 2… 4, 7, 21, 36.” “The second ticket… I had the 2, 5– I had the 4 on the first ticket.” “Got the 5 on the second ticket.” “2, 5.” “16, 17, got those back-to-back on the second ticket.” “Back-to-back, 16, 17, back-to-back… 28, 31.” “Thirty-one was the last number on– That I got on the second ticket.” This is the story that he’s sharing with humans.
[audience laughing]
“Third ticket… I picked a 2. I’m always on a 2.” “You know me, I always got the 2 covered.” “I knew I had the 4 on the first ticket and a 5 on the second, so I got the 6 on the third. 2, 6, 17, 19.” “Decided to leapfrog over the 18.” “Leapfrog action, landed on the 19.” “43– 43 was the last number on the third ticket.” “Fourth ticket.”
[audience laughing]
“I picked the 2.” Duh.
[audience laughing]
“I don’t know why I’m boring you with the 2.” “You know me, if I got a ticket, I got the 2.” “Walking down the street holding a ticket, you don’t have to look, you know I got the 2.”
[audience laughing]
“Anyway… I knew I had the 4, 5 and 6 on the other ticket, so I got them all on that fourth ticket. 2, 4, 5, 6.” “Something said, ‘Get the 3.'” “Something said, Go back and get that 3.'” “Something said, ‘Jump on that 3.’ Something said, ‘Nail down that 3.'” “So I get the 3. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 17 and the 44.” “And my thinking on the 44 was… ‘Hey, get the 44.'”
[audience laughing]
So as you can imagine, everyone’s jaws were agape.
[audience laughing]
So I wanted to throw the right log on the fire to keep this baby burning.
[audience laughing] When you got this kind of flame blazing, you can’t risk having it smolder out. You want to throw the proper heat in that direction, so I was like, “Whoo!”
[audience laughing]
“Woo-hoo!” “Crazy!”
[audience laughing]
“What happened?” “None of the tickets hit.”
[audience laughing]
“Whoa!” “What a twist at the end.”
[audience laughing]
“What a curveball finish.” “I could have sworn that was all going somewhere.”
[audience laughing]
“Could have sworn it. But you flipped the tables.” “You managed to follow nothing with less.”
Difficult Phrases and Words
lottery numbers - If a person guesses the right numbers in a lottery/drawing, they win a lot of money.
duplicate - copy
drilling it - slang for excelling/doing extremely well
leapfrog - jump
jaws - the lower part of your face that moves when you open your mouth
agape - open
Jaws agape
log - wood for a fire
smolder - burn slowly with no flame.
Smolder out - gradually lose the fire.
hit - In this context, it is slang for score or do well.
twist - surprise or misdirection
curveball - literally a curveball is a ball that is thrown in baseball that curves. It curves in order to misdirect the baseball batter.
Discussion Questions
Did you ever choose lottery numbers? How did it go?
The man who talked about lottery numbers did not have much to say. Do you know anyone who just likes to talk, but they don’t actually have much to say?
If you could duplicate any person or thing, what would you duplicate?
Were you told a funny story before? Could you duplicate it and tell it to your language exchange partner?
When was a time you were performing really well and drilling it?
Was there a time when you improved very quickly and you leapfrogged over the competition? Have you ever played the leapfrog game the baseball players are doing in the video above?
Do you remember a time when you were so surprised that your jaw was agape?
Did your enthusiasm for a hobby ever smolder out?
Do you feel funny around some people more than other people? Do your jokes hit more with certain people?
Did you expect that “twist” and “curveball” at the end of the lottery story?