Learn English with Brian Regan - Lottery Tickets(Stand-Up Comedy)
Transcript
And I'm trying to learn how to be a better listener. So I just decided to just say nothing. And there was a guy there telling everyone a story about the lottery numbers that he had recently picked. Whoo! What a story. [audience laughing] I'm going to try to duplicate it for you, but it's going to be challenging, because this guy was drilling it. He had everyone gathered around and he was like, "So I got, uh, four lottery tickets. The, uh, first ticket, I picked a 2… 4, 7, 21, 36. The second ticket… I had the 2, 5-- I had the 4 on the first ticket. Got the 5 on the second ticket. 2, 5. 16, 17, got those back-to-back on the second ticket. Back-to-back, 16, 17, back-to-back… 28, 31. 31 was the last number on-- That I got on the second ticket."
This is the story that he's sharing with humans. [audience laughing] "Third ticket… I picked a 2. I'm always on a 2. You know me, I always got the 2 covered. I knew I had the 4 on the first ticket and a 5 on the second, so I got the 6 on the third. 2, 6, 17, 19. Decided to leapfrog over the 18. Leapfrog action, landed on the 19. 43-- 43 was the last number on the third ticket. Fourth ticket. [audience laughing] I picked the 2. Duh. [audience laughing] I don't know why I'm boring you with the 2. You know me, if I got a ticket, I got the 2. Walking down the street holding a ticket, you don't have to look, you know I got the 2. [audience laughing] Anyway… I knew I had the 4, 5 and 6 on the other ticket, so I got them all on that fourth ticket. 2, 4, 5, 6. And something said, 'Get the 3.' Something said, 'Go back and get that 3.' Something said, 'Jump on that 3.' Something said, 'Nail down that 3.' So I get the 3. 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 17 and the 44. And my thinking on the 44 was… Hey, get the 44." [audience laughing] So as you can imagine, everyone's jaws were agape. [audience laughing]
So I wanted to throw the right log on the fire to keep this baby burning. [audience laughing] When you got this kind of flame blazing, you can't risk having it smolder out. You want to throw the proper heat in that direction, so I was like, "Whoo! [audience laughing] Woo-hoo! Crazy! [audience laughing] Well, what happened?" "None of the tickets hit." [audience laughing] Whoa! What a twist at the end. [audience laughing] What a curveball finish. I could have sworn that was all going somewhere. [audience laughing] Could have sworn it. But you flipped the tables. You managed to follow nothing with less. [audience laughing and applauding] [audience cheering]
Difficult Phrases and Words
duplicate
drilling it
back-to-back
leapfrog
keep this baby burning
smolder
flipped the tables
Discussion Questions
Do you remember hearing a very boring story, or do you know of some boring people? Could you describe the story or these people?
If you could duplicate any wonderful experience, what would it be?
When are you really drilling it with your talents?
Is it common for you to have back-to-back good days each week?
Which day of the week do you wish you could leapfrog?
Do you remember a time when you were on a win streak and you wanted to “keep the baby burning?”
What was a past passion that smoldered out?