Learn English with Brian Regan - Massages(Stand-Up Comedy)
Transcript
Massages are weird. You know, I never feel comfortable. Always looking through that strange doughnut hole. [audience laughing] I'm always thinking weird things like, "I wonder if I could squeeze my head through this. [audience laughing] But what if I got stuck underneath the table? Then I'd be like an upside-down periscope. I'd better leave well enough alone and stay on this side of the doughnut hole."
Then I think things like, "Are my eyes supposed to be open?" I feel like I'm eavesdropping. I'm watching her feet moving around. Started thinking weird things like, "What if one shoe went that way and one shoe went that way? [audience laughing] I'd be awfully curious as to what was going on. Awfully curious." [audience laughing]
So after 10 minutes I said, "I don't know the protocol… but am I supposed to say, 'you may begin'?" And she said, "I started 10 minutes ago." She said, "This is a Reiki massage. I don't actually touch you. [audience laughing] My hands are just above you, and it's an energy healing." [audience laughing] So when she was done I said, "I don't actually touch my wallet. [audience laughing and applauding] My hand is just above it. You should be receiving an energy payment… that you can use to pay your energy bill, see how they feel about the concept." [audience cheering and applauding]
Difficult Phrases and Words
eavesdropping
protocol
concept
Discussion Questions
Have you gotten a massage before? What was it like?
Do you ever remember eavesdropping on someone? Do you remember on what you eavesdropped?
What are some standard protocols at your work? Are there some protocols that you would change or that you like?
If a masseuse told you that she/he was massaging you without touching you, how would you respond? Would you respond favorably or unfavorably to this concept?